Procrustean - how’s the fit of your bed?

I stumbled across a delightful word (which I had to look up to define) in a book I was reading recently: procrustean. According to an online dictionary it is an adjective which means: “enforcing uniformity or conformity (especially of a framework or system) without regard to natural variation or individuality.” It derives from the story of Procrustes, son of the Greek god Poseidon, who would invite people to lie down in his “one size fits all” iron bed and would make up for individual size variation not by adjusting the bed but by adjusting the individual—either by stretching him on the built-in rack, if one were too short, or cutting off limbs if too long.

Isn’t it wonderful when you learn a new word that describes and gives a vivid image for how you have been acting—a word that hits you between the eyes, waking you up to how you really are?

This image of rack stretching and limb lopping is so spot on—an apt metaphor illuminating how I often deal with people—in a procrustean way. “This is my experience (my bed) which you need to lie down in and adjust to,” rather than recognizing that there may be different sizes and shapes of beds, frameworks or paths to fit very different people—variable and unique in their histories, life experiences, personalities and journey with God.

Part of my journey in the last several years has been about moving into a more contemplative spirituality—a place of shifting from a head-based, knowing-about-God religion to more of a with-God relationship, learning to be present and experience The Presence. This has been a very necessary rehab bed for me to lie in, a bed specially designed for my unique journey in this particular moment. What I am recognizing, though, is that the comfort and joy that has come from the soft surrender of sinking into my custom mattress has led me to believe that everyone should fit a similar bed, have a similar experience and path. I find myself subtly discounting the Spirit’s surfacing desire in another for evangelism or bible study or social justice. “Can’t they see that these are focusing on “doing” rather than “being” activities, on head vs heart? They should adjust to lie down in a bed just like mine.” How procrustean of me! Perhaps God has a different bed for them at this time in their journey—a bed designed and adjusted just for them, at this moment, in this place. No need for limb lopping to fit into someone else’s bed.

I am learning that this kind of my-way-or-the-highway mentality may be harmful and disrespectful of the journey that God has another on. I am learning that it may not be the individual that needs adjusting but rather my vision—to see that God has a different bed for them to lie in that fits them perfectly at this point on their journey with him. And, to avoid the procrustean impulse.

How about you? How procrustean have you been recently? Are you involved in any uninvited rack stretching or limb lopping?